attraction.

Hello, hubby.

Today is the 3rd challenge and we're talking about what attracts you to someone.  I suppose this could mean someone anyone, but everyone knows this really means what attracts you to a partner.  Matthew Gray Gubler attracts me.  Sans surname though.  But everyone also knows that if I manage to catch a husband, I'm not taking his surname.  I'm keeping mine, for no other reason than I just like the way my full name sounds.

Tangent.

What attracts me to someone is tricky.  I'm pretty pathetic on the ol' love front and when it's come to dating, I've only really had a few proper relationships.  Two with guys that worshipped the ground I walked on, not because I'm particularly great but more so because they are just genuinely sweet, loving, men who show their affection by doting on someone.  Turns out that doesn't work for me; I go in feeling so romantical and lovely and come out feeling smothered and resentful that someone could "love" me so much that I could have walked all over them, had I wanted to.  Nobodies fault, just a poor match.  Another relationship that was on and off for years was with a guy that wanted to look after me, which I liked in theory but in reality it turns out I hated the fact that he (I thought) felt I couldn't look after myself.

However, the last "proper" relationship I was in mostly worked and I think I can stand back and view the reasons why it did, with the clarity that comes with time.  

He wasn't afraid to introduce me to his friends, he wasn't afraid to be affectionate, he wasn't afraid to call me out on my shit and he was just really fucking fun and wanted to get out there and do shit.  I'd probably stay in reading all day if I could, so someone who wants to drop everything and go on a roady is exactly what I need.  He loved being with me, but he didn't need me.  I didn't complete him, I complimented him.  What more could you want?

Superficially, I'm attracted to men who are taller than me (I like heels but I hate feeling like a giant), blue/green/anything that's not brown eyes are killer, a Scottish/British/Irish accent will pretty much make my clothes fall off and great style (someone who dresses like an adult, not a 18yr old pub monkey) absolutely slays me.   

I'm attracted to creative people who have their own opinions but are open minded and willing to discuss things.  But to repeat myself, I guess the most important thing is that a person have their own life.  

To have someone want you in their life even when they don't need you is probably the ultimate.