okay.

Me and my best ladies on my last night out in Auckland
before the big move back to Queenstown - July 2011.

Day two and she's back!  Straight into it: "How have you changed over the past two years?".  More like how haven't I changed.  I'm still spending about ALL of my time wondering what I could do next, where I could go, live, work and wondering if it'll all ever just "click".

In saying that, this time in 2011 I'd just moved back to Queenstown after attempting a real life grown up job in Auckland.  Over the past two years, just over one in QT and almost one back here in Auckland, I've realised that I'm okay.  

That it's okay that I'm 28 and it hasn't clicked yet.  

That it's okay that I'm 28 and single.  

That it's okay that I'm 28 and I don't know where I want to live.

That it's okay that I'm 28 and I'm not sure that my job is the job.

I've just got to do me.  And if doing me takes time, then time it'll take.

In these last two years I've had super long hair, that I cut really short, and then shorter again.  I started making decisions about my health and actually doing shit about it.  Real shit, like exercising and making better decisions (it ain't perfect but it's improving) about what I put into my body rather than just wishing I'd magically lose weight.  I've gained confidence from pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  I went on two dates with people I met online - something I attempted two years ago but failed miserably at.  I got a big ol' tattoo on my arm.

I've been emotional in all kinds of ways.  I think that must be an age thing.  I'm letting down my guard a little because I'm starting to care a little less about what people think and letting things in so I can feel real 'feels' is pretty okay.

I feel like, I've changed a bunch and I've not changed at all.  If this is how things carry on, I wouldn't be too upset.