date.

Today I am really fucking tired and also, I just read Anna's post for Day 13 and I can't really top her date, so I figure there's no point.  I don't know her, and she doesn't know me, but she is totally my spirit animal (or person, but is that a thing?  I mean, she's obvs not an animal but spirit person doesn't ring right to me).

Actually, just quietly, I was thinking today that I'd have loved someone to have taken me on a date to the Paper Pirates 'exhibition' that was on at Silo Park this evening.  Possibly my new crush, Tim Lambourne (he's always been a background crush, but this escalated to full-blown after I went to geek club on Wednesday and heard him speak on the panel.  Can anyone say confident?  And articulate?  SEXY).  Because a. it's his thing (like, actually - he's a Paper Pirate) and b. even if he wasn't, he's cool and would be into doing biz like that.  I really wanted to go this evening and literally could not think of one person I know that would genuinely want to attend this.  This perhaps wouldn't have been my dream date (much more into dream dates where we go to a spa and I look fabulous and we stay at an incredible hotel and eat glorious food and basically just lounge around (all arms and legs and languid) being all stoked with each other's company) but it would be a realistic, actual date.  Burgers from Big J's (I've never been but hear it's a-mayyyy-ZING), a wander round Silo Park and then some drinks (we'd get drunk and fun but not out of control) and banter and some mean as local pub where everyone is cool and no one is intimidating.  That'd be my jam.

In other news, today I bought two pairs of reading glasses (prescription-ised, bitchez) for $36 including delivery.  GET OUT OF TOWN I KNOW HOW GREAT.  In final news for this evening, two days is not long enough for this weekend as I have school biz to do plus a party to attend plus some shoes to buy to wear to said party plus a hangover to have plus I have to spend time with my little sister plus I'd like to laze around a bit.

But hey.  I got this shit.

ex-factor.

Day 12.  What would I say to an ex?  

Not much, really.  Something along the lines of "hey, what's up, how's life?" etc.  I don't have any exes that I'm not on speaking terms with.  So that's lucky.  

Actually...

I might even apologise to one (...two) of them.  I mean, I should really, but I'm pretty shit at confronting things like that so I just hope they know how sorry I am.  For being an indecisive, trying to have it all, generally average girlfriend.  And to another?  If I had the guts, I'd say something along the lines of "what the...".  What is this sorcery that kept us together and what's up with this fuckery of yours that always pushed me away?

But I don't have the guts, and ignoring that kind of thing works fine, for me.

You tell 'em, Kelly.

single-town.

SERIOUSLY BLOGGING CHALLENGE WHAT IS THIS Y U NO STOP GOING ON ABOUT SINGLE-ISM?  Today I get to write about my  "current relationship; if single, discuss how single life is".

I feel like my previous posts have covered this a little lot.  I am forever alone and right now I am okay with that.  The alone part.  I'm hopeful that the forever part is just something I've added in for the lolz/dramaz and it won't actual eventuate.  That's probable.  Right?  

Panic.

I enjoy single-town at the moment because I'm pretty sure I have fuck all time to do the things that I want to do, without considering someone else and what they want to do and spending time together and snooze-snooze-snoozathon-blah-blah-blah-yawn-relationship.  I do the work thing a lot, and the working out thing (as of recently), and the mentor thing, and as of this week the Uni thing part time, and currently the blogging thing.  On top of that I have mooching about time, sleeping time, party time, shopping time etc and boyfriend time simply does not fit the equation.  

Anyway, so obvs relationship life is sweet (because you get a partner that writes poetry like this, right?) and you get someone who is always there and shit but on the flip side they are ALWAYS THERE and shit.  As previously mentioned, while I don't want to feel alone, I like to be alone so the thought of someone always being there gives me the heebie jeebies.  I would like to have someone 'on tap', as it were, because I am selfish and only care about myself, but am very aware that nobody wants to be that person for me because that would be shitty as fuck.  

And thus, because I am selfish and want to do what I want, all the time, I am (and thankfully, because really, I don't have a choice) at peace with being of the singular variety.  Currently.  

In other news, I'd like to say a big "fuck you" to squats, and squat thrusts.  

romantical.

So it would seeeeeeeem that this 30 Day Challenge (I didn't read ahead so every day is a surprise, hooray!) is designed to make me feel shit about how ALONE I am because day 9 is encouraging me to write about my last kiss.  

Kisses Schmisses, who needs 'em?

I'm assuming that this topic is not referring to the abundance of kissing I do in my everyday life.  Cheek kissing and what not.  I'm assuming that this topic is referring to serious real life kissing of the romantic variety and the more I think about that, the more weird I realise it is.  Um, ew you guys.  No one wants to know about that shit.

Point being, my love life is pretty non-existent and thus I can't really remember my last kiss.  I doubt I could be all that descriptive about a kiss though.  It was um, on the mouth?  With a consenting adult man?  And enjoyable?  And beautiful and tidy and not gross and if you saw it in a film you'd be like "aww yeah" not "ew gross"?

Whatever, my life is way cooler without pashing all the boys, anyway.

Sometimes there's only one person in this situation.
I'm just welcoming myself.

better.

Disclaimer: I started writing this last night but I fell asleep because I am an old woman and I can't stay up late, even when I'm in the middle of doing something.  But whatever.  I don't have to apologise to you (no one).  Mostly I'm just disappointed.  In myself.

Anyway, Day 6 (yesterday) is "Describe the person you like".  Right now I'm relationship-free (ah, so free!  Aren't I lucky?!  Hmmph.) so I can't describe an actual boyfriend, however I described an ideal boyfriend a few days ago.  Hmmm.  Conundrum.

There is, however, a fella that I have a crush on.  A real, in my life person, someone who I keep in touch with kind of but who I haven't actually physically seen/spoken to in a number of years.  So it's likely that these characteristics are somewhat made up.  Well, not so much made up but I may have embellished them somewhat.  Not like that, you perves.

He's tall, but not overly tall, and kind of has that hipster look going on.  But he's intelligent and can back up the nerd-glasses look.  He's well travelled, has a great job that he genuinely enjoys and loves music.  He's creative, has a bit of banter and loves his family.  He likes to go out but isn't a pisshead and doesn't just go and get wasted in the hopes that it'll lead to a fun night.  He drinks because he's an adult and enjoys it, he does thing things (i.e. real activities) and makes plans and spends his money (mostly) wisely.

I've basically just described the person that I want to be (albeit in male form).  And he's (basically, as far as I know) a real person!  I'm not looking for a twin, but in the same breath it'd be nice to date someone who makes me want to be a better person.

I'd like to imagine I could hang off the arm (what is that phrase?) of someone like this:

I mean, he likes cats and isn't afraid
to smile, you guys.

In other news, the 30 day fitness challenge is still a nightmare.  But we're a week down!  Cripes.

peeves.

And on Day 5, we name five irritating things about boys and girls.  Everyone knows that girls are perfect, of course, but for the sake of this challenge I'll play along.  I'm a good sport, what can I say?  Here's to stereotyping and generalising!

Five things that grind my gears about myself, as a woman:

• We worry about things too much.  We worry about what people think of us and as a result, spend all our time comparing ourselves to other girls.  We worry that we're not as pretty, or smart or pure or skinny or in love with the environment or career minded as the next girl and crikey, what will everything think?!  The answer is "nothing".  People won't think about it.  Very few people are thinking about you all the time, ladies.  This worrying business is time-wasterly and boring and pointless and impossible to stop.
• JAYSUS CAN WE STOP IT WITH THE SLUT SHAMING ALREADY.  And the fat shaming.  And all that.
• We're really emotional.  Rationally, of course, but also incredibly irrationally emotional.  And double-standard-y.  And change mind-y.  And grudge hold-y.
• The way we talk.  I know, it's not all girls but you know the girls I mean.  Girls like me.  Who say "totes" and "def" and "I knowwwww right?" and shriek and get all high pitched when they're excited/annoyed and what not. 
• We over analyse everything.  All of the things.  Why so and so said those words in that order in that tone at that time of day via that communication medium to that person whilst wearing those clothes and standing in that stance while looking sideways (were they looking sideways?  Or do they just have weird squinty eyes?  Have they always had squinty eyes?  Are they ill?  Are their contacts uncomfortable?) at that animal/vegetable/mineral etc.  See this and then see yourself as a woman and then go "yikes, that is me" and then wish you could do something about it BUT YOU CAN'T.

Five things that grind my gears about men:

• Slut shaming.  Rape jokes.  Asking if it's "that time of the month".  Unless you're asking me whether it's that time of the month where I punch you in the throat, then no.  No, no, nope. 
• Always (oh come on.  Often, at the very least) looking for sexy time.  Which leads me to the "Hey" text, and variations thereof.  We all know what you mean when you text "Hey" at 2am.  Or anytime, actually.
• They're so simple.  I don't mean like simple "duh" but simple "clear, to the point, say what they mean" which, when coupled with women who over analyse any/everything makes them near on impossible to work out, because there is no way that we're going to be satisfied with simplicity.  I don't know that this is a man problem, actually.  What I mean is, I don't understand men.
• Their obsession with putting their hands in their pants.  What is this constant rearranging/itching business?  Is it really that uncomfortable all of the time?  Ohhhh which leads me to guys sitting with their legs spread mad far apart.  Would it kill one knee to be within a foot of the other?
• Having no idea about things.  Sometimes guys are so thick, and it comes not from mental retardation, but from genuinely not understanding that some things are not okay to say/do.    Should you wear your old jeans to a wedding?  No.  Should you comment on a women's meal choice?  No.  Ughhhh.

Conclusion?  We're all idiots.  It's a surprise the world has yet to implode from the weight of our stupidity.