toot.

I really love my great face.  This is why
I have so many boyfriends.  Obvs.

Today is Day 16 and I have to (yeah someone is definitely forcing me to do this) write about three things that I like about my personality.  I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling with this.  Not in a pity party way, more in a it's not really a kiwi thing to get out there and toot your own horn way.  And the more I think about it, the more I realise that the things I like about myself are sometimes the things that I'm not that keen on, at the same time. Ah, the complications of being human.  Particularly of a female variety, I think.  

So.  Three things.

ONE: I'm good at doing things for the lolz.  I like laughing, I like making other people laugh and I like making potentially shit situations funny.  I'm a pretty firm believer in the phrase "if you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell".  Oh you bet I'll laugh like hell.  And I'll make sure I laugh doubly loud to make it even more funny.  I like that being able to crack some lolz is an easy way to break the ice and get people talking, and I'm (often) able to do it.  Cool as, you gaaaiiz.  

TWO: I'm beginning to believe in my ability to change shit that I don't like.  This is something that I've only learned recently, and I'm not always successful but I'm getting better.  I'm learning to recognise that a lot of the things that I whinge about (and as a girl, I'm a born whinger) are things that I can change, and learning to actively take steps to change them.  Feel like I'm getting dumber in my old age?  Back to uni I go.  Feeling like a fat lump?  Hello diet/exercise changes.  Need to meet new people?  Start saying yes to invitations.  Booyah.  Life is on the up and up, bishes.

THREE: I'm a good listener.  I don't know what it is, but people tell me shit.  Shit that makes them go "jaysus I don't know why I just spilled that to you, I haven't told anyone about that".  As in, I've had several people make remarks to that effect when talking to me.  I'm not really one for dishing out unsolicited advice, but if you ask me, I'll do my best to tell it to you straight.  While I can't sort out my own life, baby you best believe I know exactly what you should be doing with yours.  But if advice is not what you seek, you can just vent at my face and I'll make active listening noises and nothing else.  Word.

I love me!  Yeah baby!  I'm the bomb!  Self-esteem!  Because you're worth it!  L'Oreal!  Wait, what?

single-town.

SERIOUSLY BLOGGING CHALLENGE WHAT IS THIS Y U NO STOP GOING ON ABOUT SINGLE-ISM?  Today I get to write about my  "current relationship; if single, discuss how single life is".

I feel like my previous posts have covered this a little lot.  I am forever alone and right now I am okay with that.  The alone part.  I'm hopeful that the forever part is just something I've added in for the lolz/dramaz and it won't actual eventuate.  That's probable.  Right?  

Panic.

I enjoy single-town at the moment because I'm pretty sure I have fuck all time to do the things that I want to do, without considering someone else and what they want to do and spending time together and snooze-snooze-snoozathon-blah-blah-blah-yawn-relationship.  I do the work thing a lot, and the working out thing (as of recently), and the mentor thing, and as of this week the Uni thing part time, and currently the blogging thing.  On top of that I have mooching about time, sleeping time, party time, shopping time etc and boyfriend time simply does not fit the equation.  

Anyway, so obvs relationship life is sweet (because you get a partner that writes poetry like this, right?) and you get someone who is always there and shit but on the flip side they are ALWAYS THERE and shit.  As previously mentioned, while I don't want to feel alone, I like to be alone so the thought of someone always being there gives me the heebie jeebies.  I would like to have someone 'on tap', as it were, because I am selfish and only care about myself, but am very aware that nobody wants to be that person for me because that would be shitty as fuck.  

And thus, because I am selfish and want to do what I want, all the time, I am (and thankfully, because really, I don't have a choice) at peace with being of the singular variety.  Currently.  

In other news, I'd like to say a big "fuck you" to squats, and squat thrusts.  

introducing.

I've only been wanting to start writing a proper blog for what feels like forever, and it's only taken me forever to actually do it.  Yeah, cool story bro.

What are you actually meant to write in your first post? Do you just launch into it? That seems rude, like gate crashing a party, barreling up to the nearest guest and yarning about that local sports team as if it's no big deal, without so much as an introduction. I've had a spy through some of my favourite blogs to see what the general consensus is and it seems that there is none. So, in lieu of any guidelines, I give you a short introduction to... me. 

I'm ellie. I prefer the way my name looks with a lower case 'e'. I'm 28 and first attempted a blog when I was 19. I really regret not having carried on with that, to be honest as by now I'd be almost ten years in the game and not feeling my way through a fairly tragic first post. However I just read through that first blog attempt again and it was basically a diary. Less than interesting to anyone but me. So, so interesting to read my 19 (through 21) year old thoughts now, though; things that I thought were hugely important (of course) turned out to be mere blips on the radar in the grand scheme of things. I digress. I definitely hoped that by the time I was 28 I'd have a few things sorted, including enough disposable income to buy the things I lusted after, but alas this was not to be. Turns out I'm 28, have spent the last eight years travelling and doing whatever the heck I wanted with no regrets, but no real money in the bank, either.  So that's me.

I'm still not a hundred percent about what 'type' of blog this will be. I expect I'll loosely term it 'Lifestyle', in order to cover the inevitable random topics that I'll write about for the next wee while and cross my fingers that a direction will become obvious.  I like make up.  And hair.  And food.  And music.  And I'm pretending to like exercising.  So there's any number of things that I could go on about.  I can barely contain myself.  The world is my oyster.  It's just that I'm battling to shuck it, but hey, every day's a school day (I long for the school day when I learn how to open a bottle with a lighter.  WHEN WILL I FINALLY GET THAT?).

So here goes nothing. It can only get better, no?  I mean, probably.  Like, surely it can't get worse? 

Hello.  Here I am.