r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

Today's topic is "Disrespecting Parents".  I'm assuming I'm to write about my opinion about this?  Seems a bit shit.  As if anyone would write about how they are pro-disrespecting anyone.  Obvs I'm no advocate for this biz.

Basically, it's like this.  If you're out of high school, stop that shit.  I think during high school you're bound to not really get on with your parents, and no one is going to be super mad about that.  You think your parents are the worst, that they're on a very specific mission to stop you being cool/having fun (obviously, as if they have anything better to do than ruin your life), you'll hate them for it and they'll expect you to feel that way being that they inevitably did at your age: life is just running it's course. 

But once you're out of high school and making adult decisions, one of those decisions needs to be not to be a dick to your parents.  

I think the older you get, the more you can appreciate that being an adult sucks a lot and it's mad tough sometimes and be honest, you can't even imagine what it would be like to have a kid or two in the picture so you need to give them props.  They're just people.

big ups, Mum and Dad.  

(Obviously if you're parents aren't actually the best parents, for whatever reason, this may not apply.  But for those in a situation like mine?  This is what's up.)

scaredy-cat.

It's Day 17, you guys!  I've passed the halfway point!  Bam!  Exclamation marks!

Today, the topic is "things that make you scared".  I'm unsure as to the level of scaredy-cat-ness that this is referring too, so I'm just going to list a random selection of things that I am, to varying degrees, scared of.  Because I am terrified of everything.

1. Grating my fingers.  I have never had a bad experience with a grater however I constantly think about grating my fingernails off, and then the rest of my fingers (as if I wouldn't immediately stop).  UGHHHHHHH thinking about it makes my fingers tingle.

2. Other people being up high.  I'm not that pumped about heights myself, however if I have to get up somewhere, I will.  But the second you make me watch someone else doing something at a height (basically ALL THE TIME at my old job at the canyon swing), my heart is in my throat and I'm all about ready to heave it out, in sheer panic.  Once I had to paint the railing around the balcony at the swing site.  I did the inside, and Rob, who I worked with, hooked himself up to hang off the roof and kind of abseil down so he could do the outside (hanging over a cliff-face.  Not exaggerating.).  I spent the entire time refusing to look at him because it made me so nervous.

highest of the high up places a.k.a my old workplace.

3. Being forever alone.  Right now I'm happy being alone, but the forever part is terrifying because what if all the boys hate me forever and then I am a spinster and have to get loads of cats and hey I love cats don't worry everybody it's okay.

4. People dying.  Specifically my family.  I mean, obviously I am upset when anyone I know dies, or anyone who is important to someone who is important to me dies, and so on and so forth, however I am very, very scared of anyone in my family dying.  What the hell are you meant to do about that?  This has happened to people that I know and I am every day astounded that they haven't just dropped dead themselves (you know what I mean) out of an actual inability to cope.  I know some bloody amazing people.  I am scared that I am not like that.

5. Walking around outside in the dark.  Particularly downhill.  I hate not knowing where I'm stepping and permanently convinced I'll take a wrong step in the dark and do the splits and skid down a hill.  I am scared of that, so I take the tiniest steps possible and will feel around until I'm sure I have a decent footing, therefore cementing my place in everyone's lives as the slowest walker they have ever known.

6. My money situation.  My no money situation.

7. Pregnancy.  Where would I put a baby?  Also, how did I get pregnant?  (see fear #3)

8. People sneaking up on me.  I quite easily get into a "zone".  If I am working, I am in that zone.  If I am reading, I am in a reading zone.  If I am internerding...  you get the idea.  I will actually open a book and be in the zone immediately, which makes it incredibly easy for anyone to give me a fright.  Like a 'shit the bed' kind of  fright.  Hours of fun for everyone else.  You guys all suck.

So, there's some cool fears for you to think about.  Maybe if you weren't afraid of these before, you are now?  Join the club, my friend.  Join the club.  Hey guys!  Any decision we make could totally ruin our lives!  Have a fun day! 

toot.

I really love my great face.  This is why
I have so many boyfriends.  Obvs.

Today is Day 16 and I have to (yeah someone is definitely forcing me to do this) write about three things that I like about my personality.  I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling with this.  Not in a pity party way, more in a it's not really a kiwi thing to get out there and toot your own horn way.  And the more I think about it, the more I realise that the things I like about myself are sometimes the things that I'm not that keen on, at the same time. Ah, the complications of being human.  Particularly of a female variety, I think.  

So.  Three things.

ONE: I'm good at doing things for the lolz.  I like laughing, I like making other people laugh and I like making potentially shit situations funny.  I'm a pretty firm believer in the phrase "if you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell".  Oh you bet I'll laugh like hell.  And I'll make sure I laugh doubly loud to make it even more funny.  I like that being able to crack some lolz is an easy way to break the ice and get people talking, and I'm (often) able to do it.  Cool as, you gaaaiiz.  

TWO: I'm beginning to believe in my ability to change shit that I don't like.  This is something that I've only learned recently, and I'm not always successful but I'm getting better.  I'm learning to recognise that a lot of the things that I whinge about (and as a girl, I'm a born whinger) are things that I can change, and learning to actively take steps to change them.  Feel like I'm getting dumber in my old age?  Back to uni I go.  Feeling like a fat lump?  Hello diet/exercise changes.  Need to meet new people?  Start saying yes to invitations.  Booyah.  Life is on the up and up, bishes.

THREE: I'm a good listener.  I don't know what it is, but people tell me shit.  Shit that makes them go "jaysus I don't know why I just spilled that to you, I haven't told anyone about that".  As in, I've had several people make remarks to that effect when talking to me.  I'm not really one for dishing out unsolicited advice, but if you ask me, I'll do my best to tell it to you straight.  While I can't sort out my own life, baby you best believe I know exactly what you should be doing with yours.  But if advice is not what you seek, you can just vent at my face and I'll make active listening noises and nothing else.  Word.

I love me!  Yeah baby!  I'm the bomb!  Self-esteem!  Because you're worth it!  L'Oreal!  Wait, what?

bomb.

The Best Things That Happened This Week, you ask? So this week has kind of been a bit of a non-event, to be honest.  Fast forward a week and I'll have had a grand old time, as my super great pal Anna is coming to visit!  But anyway.

Best things:

- I went to geek club.  I managed to keep away from the pizza and only had one cider because I have bomb as will power, swooned over Tim Lambourne and listened to articulate, interesting banter between him and Zane Scarborough.  There is pretty much nothing more awesome than an attractive man who can intelligently debate a topic.  

- Following on from that, I googled Zane Scarborough when I got home and found out that he is a poet.  Who is a freaking poet these days?  Only Zane Scarborough, because he's the bizzomb.  Cue an evening of watching his youtube videos and crying, every time.  So, so good. 

- I bought these shoes and they are the bomb.

- I went to Best Ugly and ate the fucking BOMB AS bagel.

- I tried Gingerella ginger beer and it was the bomb diggity.  Since discovering that ginger beer is not the same as ginger ale (in December last year.  I found this out when I was TWENTY SEVEN.  For 27 years I assumed ginger beer was gross because ginger ale is.  I missed out for so long!) I have become somewhat of a ginger beer connoisseur, if you will, and Gingerella shot right to the top of my list. 

- I started my one-woman crusade to bring the term "the bomb" back into everybody's lives.

gross.

How am I meant to catch a husband if I have to reveal all this personal information?  The only way to legitimately find a man is to lie, lie, lie and hide your real self until he's well and truly tied to you.  That's right, right?

So Day 14 is "something disgusting that you do".  I do all manner of disgusting things, however I'm probably not going to divulge any of these filthy habits online.  The internet is forever, you guys!

Probably the worst thing that I'm willing to spill is drinking warm/flat lemonade with no qualms.  Oh, and constantly scrutinising my skin and inspecting my face.  But every girl does that.  So, there's that.

date.

Today I am really fucking tired and also, I just read Anna's post for Day 13 and I can't really top her date, so I figure there's no point.  I don't know her, and she doesn't know me, but she is totally my spirit animal (or person, but is that a thing?  I mean, she's obvs not an animal but spirit person doesn't ring right to me).

Actually, just quietly, I was thinking today that I'd have loved someone to have taken me on a date to the Paper Pirates 'exhibition' that was on at Silo Park this evening.  Possibly my new crush, Tim Lambourne (he's always been a background crush, but this escalated to full-blown after I went to geek club on Wednesday and heard him speak on the panel.  Can anyone say confident?  And articulate?  SEXY).  Because a. it's his thing (like, actually - he's a Paper Pirate) and b. even if he wasn't, he's cool and would be into doing biz like that.  I really wanted to go this evening and literally could not think of one person I know that would genuinely want to attend this.  This perhaps wouldn't have been my dream date (much more into dream dates where we go to a spa and I look fabulous and we stay at an incredible hotel and eat glorious food and basically just lounge around (all arms and legs and languid) being all stoked with each other's company) but it would be a realistic, actual date.  Burgers from Big J's (I've never been but hear it's a-mayyyy-ZING), a wander round Silo Park and then some drinks (we'd get drunk and fun but not out of control) and banter and some mean as local pub where everyone is cool and no one is intimidating.  That'd be my jam.

In other news, today I bought two pairs of reading glasses (prescription-ised, bitchez) for $36 including delivery.  GET OUT OF TOWN I KNOW HOW GREAT.  In final news for this evening, two days is not long enough for this weekend as I have school biz to do plus a party to attend plus some shoes to buy to wear to said party plus a hangover to have plus I have to spend time with my little sister plus I'd like to laze around a bit.

But hey.  I got this shit.

ex-factor.

Day 12.  What would I say to an ex?  

Not much, really.  Something along the lines of "hey, what's up, how's life?" etc.  I don't have any exes that I'm not on speaking terms with.  So that's lucky.  

Actually...

I might even apologise to one (...two) of them.  I mean, I should really, but I'm pretty shit at confronting things like that so I just hope they know how sorry I am.  For being an indecisive, trying to have it all, generally average girlfriend.  And to another?  If I had the guts, I'd say something along the lines of "what the...".  What is this sorcery that kept us together and what's up with this fuckery of yours that always pushed me away?

But I don't have the guts, and ignoring that kind of thing works fine, for me.

You tell 'em, Kelly.

single-town.

SERIOUSLY BLOGGING CHALLENGE WHAT IS THIS Y U NO STOP GOING ON ABOUT SINGLE-ISM?  Today I get to write about my  "current relationship; if single, discuss how single life is".

I feel like my previous posts have covered this a little lot.  I am forever alone and right now I am okay with that.  The alone part.  I'm hopeful that the forever part is just something I've added in for the lolz/dramaz and it won't actual eventuate.  That's probable.  Right?  

Panic.

I enjoy single-town at the moment because I'm pretty sure I have fuck all time to do the things that I want to do, without considering someone else and what they want to do and spending time together and snooze-snooze-snoozathon-blah-blah-blah-yawn-relationship.  I do the work thing a lot, and the working out thing (as of recently), and the mentor thing, and as of this week the Uni thing part time, and currently the blogging thing.  On top of that I have mooching about time, sleeping time, party time, shopping time etc and boyfriend time simply does not fit the equation.  

Anyway, so obvs relationship life is sweet (because you get a partner that writes poetry like this, right?) and you get someone who is always there and shit but on the flip side they are ALWAYS THERE and shit.  As previously mentioned, while I don't want to feel alone, I like to be alone so the thought of someone always being there gives me the heebie jeebies.  I would like to have someone 'on tap', as it were, because I am selfish and only care about myself, but am very aware that nobody wants to be that person for me because that would be shitty as fuck.  

And thus, because I am selfish and want to do what I want, all the time, I am (and thankfully, because really, I don't have a choice) at peace with being of the singular variety.  Currently.  

In other news, I'd like to say a big "fuck you" to squats, and squat thrusts.  

waster.

Crikey, some of these topics are really forcing (forcing?  Well, requesting at least) me to throw some potentially controversial opinions out there.  To all six people that have accidentally come across this blog...   

yeah, she's a feisty one alright.

Day 10: My views on drugs and alcohol.  I'm no straighty-180, pals, but at the same time I'm not about to shake your hand and give you a medal if you have a daily booze/drug habit.  People are going to do what they want and all I say is don't do it too much.  And watch it's affect on other people.  This kind of shit ain't just about you.  It's pretty simple.  

Based on my experiences, I have no qualms with occasional and social use of either or.  I've had some great times and while I've been lucky enough to never have really had any completely terrible times, I have definitely had some decidedly average times.  I've tried this and that and would maybe try something else as well, although I am pretty sure I'm not about business that you try with a needle.  I've toned it down a little (in terms of the frequency, at least) as I've gotten older however I still like to party.  I'd party all the time, if my body could handle/I could afford/it wouldn't ruin my life.  But I understand that it can't/I can't/it would.  

It's easy to get hypocritical with things like this, because I guess it's all based on you and your experiences.  Boozing/drugging all the time is bad.  Boozing/drugging sometimes (to excess, even) on the weekends is okay?  I don't know.  Do what you want.  But be safe.

Preach, Aubrey.

Cheers, bishes.

romantical.

So it would seeeeeeeem that this 30 Day Challenge (I didn't read ahead so every day is a surprise, hooray!) is designed to make me feel shit about how ALONE I am because day 9 is encouraging me to write about my last kiss.  

Kisses Schmisses, who needs 'em?

I'm assuming that this topic is not referring to the abundance of kissing I do in my everyday life.  Cheek kissing and what not.  I'm assuming that this topic is referring to serious real life kissing of the romantic variety and the more I think about that, the more weird I realise it is.  Um, ew you guys.  No one wants to know about that shit.

Point being, my love life is pretty non-existent and thus I can't really remember my last kiss.  I doubt I could be all that descriptive about a kiss though.  It was um, on the mouth?  With a consenting adult man?  And enjoyable?  And beautiful and tidy and not gross and if you saw it in a film you'd be like "aww yeah" not "ew gross"?

Whatever, my life is way cooler without pashing all the boys, anyway.

Sometimes there's only one person in this situation.
I'm just welcoming myself.